To the moon?

 To commemorate the first snow of the year the Ericksons went on a first class adventure up Little Cottonwood Canyon to Snowbird- to watch it fall softly on the vacant runs.  I would like to say it was peaceful up there- but honestly it was snowing so hard it was a little alarming!  Or at least the air was energized with that "start of a new season" feeling.  Cars were driving like they'd never seen the stuff before, parking lots were filling up with cross country and back country skiers already starting their season, cops were blocking off the canyon roads and only letting 4-wheel-drive and chains continue on.  I would like to say this was an unusual storm- but it was very usual- habitually Utah as we have learned.

We drove by the towering rock walls we had climbed only 7 days before.  Things are a changing around here.  Climbing season is on its way out.  And ski season is weeks away.  As for the kiddos, they didn't understand why we didn't bring their skis, and why the lifts weren't running...all in due time.

So we are excited to start a new chapter of the year as 2011 comes to a close.  I am sad outdoor climbing is done for the year, but excited to adventure around Alta with the kids.  Saturday night the skies cleared, and the moon came out.

Abishai asked, "Dad, can I walk on the moon?"

Chris: "The outlook is poor, son." 

Abs: "Why?"

Chris: "Because it is really expensive to get to the moon."

 Abs: "Dad, does it cost 30 dollars?"

Oh Abs...I wish.

 

 

Eyes of Gratitude

Abishai took this and my face was actually in the frame!

I woke up this morning crabby. Yesterday morning too for that matter. But today was different. I was bemoaning the fact that I would not be able to go to yoga today. My once a week, Wednesday yoga class has become somewhat of a sanctuary for me. So I kept my grumbling to myself, of course God still saw it, and prepared for my day.

Half way into the morning, Chris informed me plans had changed, and I could go to yoga. My response? Now I have to change my plans, now I am hurried to figure out if I can still go. And do I have to leave early to get back in time? And, and, and...

God had interrupted my day to bless me in a small way and it took me awhile to see it. I guess I am glad I finally did, cause I started out by fighting tooth and nail. As I enter the "Thanksgiving" month I want to work on being more thankful. That all starts by seeing things the right way. If I look at my circumstances through eyes of gratitude, I have much to be thankful for. If my sight is filled with ME and everything I am "entitled" to, then I will only see how I want things to be different. Not only that, but how I deserve for them to be different. It is a matter of perspective.

It is very easy to get into the trap of thinking on "what we deserve."  I had a wonderful woman help me down the road to right thinking when I was stuck in a "deserving attitude." She asked me, "So you think you deserve better, something different?" "Well, yes." I replied. "So who are you before God?" "I am an unrighteous, sinful, flawed person." "And what do you deserve?" She asked?  Nothing but the just punishment for my sin and a sentence of eternity in hell. So anything above and beyond that is God's grace to me, and much more than I deserve.  I try to remember this every time I struggle with my attitude.

My prayer this month? Lord, give me eyes to see...

Expectation...

I had one of those moments the other day, you know...the kind you won't soon forget.

Chris and I were climbing my first multi-pitch route.  Half way up the first pitch I was ticked off.  My forearms were pounding, my hands so tired I could barely pull the cams out of the rock.  But I got to the top, barely, and after a few moments of exhaling my frustration I began to look around.  To my right the sun, low on the horizon, reflected off the granite in an orange explosion.  To the left,  the moon hung in the sky, framed by a spectacular couloir and jagged peaks. In front of me, the next pitch and a little scrambling to get to the summit. And I began to think about how the struggle in getting to the top, was part of, if not most, of what made it so fun to get to the top.

Chris and I were talking about whether or not there will be challenges in heaven, hard work, and the pay off for it.  Whether everything will be given to us on a golden platter or whether God will leave some adventure.  Or better yet, maybe there is even more adventure there than there is here...

Our best calculations of heaven are a trifle in comparison to what it will actually be like.  It is silly of us to assume that the wild and infinite God who created the delicate snowflake, the iron strength of an ocean wave, the steep cliffs of granite and coral reefs, will sentence us to an eternity in an "endless church service."'What no eye has seen, what no ear has heard, and what no human mind has conceived'- the things God has prepared for those who love Him." 1 Corinthians 2:9

So I've been thinking a lot about heaven and living in light of it.  If he made this in 6 days:

imagine what heaven will be like if He has been working on it for thousands of years.
In the words of my husband, "There are going to be some pretty awesome walls for us to climb in Heaven. And I bet they are going to take hard work and training, cause that is half the fun of it."

Doesn't match up... (Emotions, part 2)

So this was my weekend:
No kids.  Awesome parents at home doing everything I usually do.  Me in San Diego. Perfect weather.  Beaches. Sun. Sea World.  5 Star hotel.  Kayaking canals lined with million dollar boats backed by million dollar houses.  Good food.  Restful nights.  Huge Bathtubs. And best of all 3 days with a awesome, thoughtful, loving, handsome, fun, adventurous, husband!


But Sunday morning I woke up in a funk. I was tired and cranky.  I told my husband, "I feel ugly. And sad.   And I sort of feel like you don't love me." He sat there quietly, patiently listening to me voice my emotions.  He told me he loved me.  He told me he thought I was beautiful.  And after a little while he said cautiously, "I want to point out how silly it is that you feel I don't love you considering where you are and what we have been doing for the last couple days." Yikes!

"SO TRUE!" How stupid I am.  The real truth? Our emotions very often lead us astray from what is real and what is true.  So I shut my mouth.  Stopped talking about how I felt and started thinking about what was true.  And at first nothing happened.  I still felt the same.  But then like ice- I slowly began to melt.  The emotions I felt subsided and we could get on with our day- or in that case with the drive to La Jolla Cove.

My husband cheered me on, "I can tell your fighting your emotions, thank you!"
Yes I am really that ridiculous.  Yes, my emotions are really that illogical.  And yes, I think our emotions mislead us women ALL the time!  Sometimes, I need to tell them "no."

The More... (Emotions; Part 1)

Chris lovin' on me by taking me to Sea World!

I've been learning a lot about emotions lately.  Mostly through my failure to recognize the wild beast that they are and go to battle. Rather I lay down and let them dominate me.

Offhandedly, Chris said, "The more you love, the more you love...ya know?"

When Chris mentioned this to me, I have to admit, I didn't know... at all.  So he explained:  "The more you love (verb), the more you love (adjective)."

Sort of profound.  What comes out of my husband's mouth astounds me lots of the time.  In a good way. We spend so much time expecting some sort of emotional feeling to drive our actions.  No wonder marriages fizzle.  But my husband just spent the last month and a half lovin' on me.  He has given me love notes and gifts. Taken me out for dinner.  Taken me to San Diego on a weekend getaway.  And he sums up his end of the experience like this.  "The more time I spend lovin' on you, and thinking about how to love on you, I fall more and more in love with you." I think God designed us this way.  We were never intended to be passive receivers but rather active participants.

I need to practice this more.  With my husband.  With my kids.  With my neighbors.  If I want to love (adjective) someone more, I need to love (verb) them more. And honestly... I need a whole bunch of help when it comes to loving people.

A Princess Football Helmet

Anibel:  Abishai when you are an adult, you are going to play football for work and I am going to sing on a stage.
Abishai: Yeah.
Anibel: You can play football and Mom will work for you to give you money.  And you'll have a boy football helmet.
Abishai: A-bell, you can play foot ball when you an adult.
Anibel: Yeah, girls can play football too.
Abishai: When I an adult, I buy you a girl helmet... a princess football helmet.

I love some of the conversations they have these days!

A Modern Day Cowboy.

The wild beast was on the loose.  Running fast and free across the Shopco parking lot.  Dodging first this car than that, a near miss for an old lady in a truck and then picking up speed as it hit an open straight away.  The gusts of wind urged it on its wreck less course.  Christopher mounted his beastly steed and took off through the parking lot with red flashing before and behind. He grabbed that beast by its horns, steered it forcefully around and delivered it to the nearest shopping cart port.

It was an amazing site to see.  My husband, the modern day cowboy.  A rouge cart whipping across the parking lot.  There isn't much he cannot chase down in the new Xtera, and manhandle through the window while driving at the same time.  Ah, my modern day cowboy...

Planes and the like...

We went to the Hill Aerospace Museum a week ago and it far exceeded our expectations. As usual my husband cracked me up. On the way home he pulled out two mini planes he had purchased for the kids.

"Here Abs, I got the SR-71 for you because it is the fastest plane in the sky and no one can catch it. Sort of like you." He turns to Bells, " I got you the F-22, the feistiest plane in the sky. It has spunk and never looses a fight."

Ah, my husband cracks me up...

Like the other night at church. We were called back to the kids classrooms because Abs was having a hard time. Chris asked him what was wrong and Abs sputters something out about hearing the choo choo and it scaring him. In an effort to calm him this is what he says, " Abs look down. Are you standing on train tracks?" Abs shakes his head. " Everytime you are scared cause you hear a choo choo, look down. And if you aren't on the tracks you have no reason to be scared. If you are on the tracks, run screaming."

Letters

We've moved. And our daughter is ever so excited to use the mailbox and learn "how to send things away."

So last week I asked Anibel if she wanted to write a letter to her friend Lindy and mail it.

Anibel replied, "Oh Yes! Hmmm..... I think I'll do an 'N'. Yes, Lindy would like an 'N'."

It took a few moments of explanation for her to understand that what I meant by the word "letter" was really a note...

Lesson #4 in semantics - The fire alarm

Every year (at least so far) we attend the Faithwalkers Conference as a family. This year during one of the much needed afternoon naps the hotel decided it was a prime opportunity to do a fire drill. Alarms went off. Babies woke up. All except my son who slept through it.

The alarm became the buzz on the town... at least for the kids. One such conversation went like this:
Anibel: Is the fire alarm going to go on during the night?
Me: No Bells. It won't go off. I think they are done.
(Anibel starts to cry)
Chris: Why are you crying?
Anibel: I don't want the alarm to go on. It scares me!
Chris: We just said we don't think the alarm is going to go off. You don't have to worry!
Anibel : But if it doesn't go off then it will be on all night!

It took us a few moments to grasp her point.
Me: Oh Punkin, your confused. When we say the alarm won't go off we mean it won't go on. See when someone one says, "the alarm went off" it really means it went on...

Once again I am amazed at the language ironies I've never even noticed before.

Lesson #3 in semantics - The Golden Rule

"Do unto others what you would want done to you."

Everyone has heard this throughout their lives, christian or not. This simple rule covers many of the selftish tendencies of children. But once again I am surprised at my daughter's interpretation.
Abs and Bells play nicely together probably 60% of the time. And the other 40% they fight over toys, they fight over space, they get angry, or they argue over the specifics of how they should go about playing together. This last week I've spent countless moments illustating the golden rule to Bells, asking her to do to her brother like she would want done to her. HER INTERPRETATION: Make her brother do what she wants to do.
She wants the stool in the middle of the kitchen. He wants it by the wall. Solution?
Bells: "Abs you need to put it in the middle cause I want you do what I want you to do." Um yeah....
Isn't that all our tendency...to apply rules religiously to others but not see our own failure to abide by them?

Lesson #2 in semantics

Another tale of semantics concerning Anibel...
Last night, as we were getting ready for bed, Anibel came into our room and with all the heart felt adoration she could muster said, "Mom and Dad, I really really love you, cause I have to."


We both stiffled our laughter, knowing that she believed herself to have said something really kind. How do I put in four year old terms the complexity of motivation, duty, and blessing others?

It is like Chris giving me roses and when I say thank you he says, "Just doing my duty."
As I encounter all these so called 'lessons,' I am learning more and more how complex our communication is and why kids are so often confused and mistaken.

Lesson #1 in semantics

Oh the finer mechanics of the English language.

Lesson #1 sounded like this:
Chris: Abishai, sometimes you remind me of a little dog cause you rest your head on my leg.
Alyssa: Abs, you are stinking cute.
Bells: Abs, you're a stinking dog.

Yeah.......

How do you explain to a four year old that that wasn't a very nice thing to say. "But you said he was stinking and Dad said he was a dog?" Well sort of...

Oh the fine and subtle meanings of language usage.