Scene of the week - Desolate Drives

Scene of last week - Rainy Redwoods

JOY

I must admit, of the last 12 years I have been following Jesus, about 7 of them have been spent asking myself this question, "Am I missing something?" I'd heard over and over of the joy to be found in Jesus. I'd read over and over of the overwhelming joy of our salvation and the peace found in Jesus. But daily I felt restless, empty, yearning and soul hungry. And all I could seem to say about it was, "What am I missing?"

I knew the world had nothing to offer. Truly I knew this, both in my head and in my heart. I also knew Jesus did hold something for me. But secretly I felt he was holding back, refusing to give me that little piece more. Withholding, for some reason, that which he freely gave to so many others.

As with most things, I learned I was wrong. And I am still learning that I am wrong. I read this today:

If you honor it [the Lord's day] by not going your own way and not doing as you please or speaking idle words, then you will find your joy in the Lord, I will cause you to ride on the heights of the land..." (Isaiah 58: 13)

I think much of the time I have prayed and believed that if only I found my joy in the Lord, then it would empower me to walk away from sin and selfishness and THEN I would feel free to set aside my way and live only for God's ways. But I have the cart before the horse. It seems to suggest from this verse that if we honor God by not going our own way and not doing as we please, by setting aside our idols, THEN we will find our joy in the Lord. We cannot fully grasp God if we have one hand clinging to the world or to ourselves.

Who helps who?

This post might be very controversial in certain circles. But some of these thoughts have been swirling around in my head for quite awhile and changing my life, parenting and marriage for that same while...

Last weekend I attended a woman's conference and one speaker was talking about how to organize and maintain a home. Good topic. Hard practicals. But what struck me most was one question during the "Q&A time." The woman asked (after dialogue about assigning chores to the kids), " Does your husband have any chores?" Simple question. Loaded with meaning. What she means is: "why do we have to do all the work?" "what chores can I tell my man to do?" "This doesn't seem fair!"

As a young mom, especially after my first was born, I slipped into this pattern of expecting my husband to come home from work and jump immediately into helping me around the house. Cleaning, cooking dinner (after all I was nursing the baby), giving Bells a bath, letting me take a shower, etc.

I've seen other mom's struggle with this but in a different context. One mom asked this question: "How am I supposed to teach our kids to clean up their stuff, when my husband leaves his stuff lying around the house all the time?"

Here is the answer to all these questions: "But for Adam no suitable helper was found...Then the Lord made a woman." Genesis 2:20,22

We are supposed to be the helper. Now, yes, our husbands can and should help us in many ways. And I very often have to ask for help...respectfully. I am not going into that here. I am addressing OUR attitude. We are to help our husbands in whatever way God and they would have. As Moms we are to train our kids to pick up after themselves. As wives we pick up after our husbands out of love. All to easily we feel justified in nagging and demanding from our husbands. Our tired bodies and flaring hormones become an excuse to be lazy. And an excuse to live daily with an entitled attitude.

I need to remind myself to put others first. Daily this means serving my husband is more of a priority than my own ease or comfort. I am not good at this. I don't claim perfection. But I do need to quell any thought that originates from, "he needs to do more for me."