Here are the questions I have been asking myself recently:
When I am 50 will I look back on my life with regret?
What parts of life do I want my kids to 'catch' and am I living in such a way that they will catch them?
Where does joy come from?
Is there a time to throw caution to the wind and strike out? Especially after you have a family?
This is the short of it:
More than anything I want my kids to love Jesus and love loving Him. To be caught up in the adventure of following Him and serving Him. But here is the truth. I am not excited by my current life of serving or following Him. I feel trapped in an endless rut. I want Jesus- I need Him. I just don't want to sit around in my comfortable life doing it. I want something more. To step out and scare myself; to see new people, new things, and do it all for Jesus and with jesus. I want my kids to learn how to live by watching Mommy, not learn how not to live. (Though they will certainly learn much by my failures, no doubt.)