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Sunday, October 23, 2011

Where the rubber meets the road...

Every once in awhile- okay really every couple weeks, maybe every couple months, I find myself listlessly wandering the house.  Looking to buy something, to start something new, to go on vacation, or to escape into a movie/book/anything really...  This is usually a red flag for me- one I've learned means I've lost focus and vision in my daily life.

This was my day yesterday...wondering desperately what I am living for, wondering if I am really doing anything with my life at all.

These times are good for me- not the listless part- but the reassessing of goals and values.  I sat down.  Made a list of who I am, who I want to be, what the most important things are to me.  I prioritized them.  My list looked something like this:
  1.  Fear and enjoy God, get to know him better.
  2.  Love and serve my husband, and get to know him better too!
  3.  Love, train, school and have fun with my 3 kids
  4. Serve at church and build into relationships there
  5. (and somewhere in all this, find time for things like training the dog, cleaning the house, exercising, family and relationships...)

I ask myself if my daily choices support these priorities- often they do, partially.  Often somethings need to be put back in their right order.  But mostly, what I realize is that even though my day is full of seemingly mundane things- laundry, disciplining, cooking meals, yard work...over all I AM doing something with my life- and not just something, but something that has value and worth.  
Not all things of value and worth- are epic, exciting, or adventurous in the moment.  Often they can be grueling, requiring patience and endurance.  But when we step back to look at the big picture- we can see progress.  We can see the epic-ness in the whole thing.  And it gives us the energy to keep going.

Wednesday, October 19, 2011

"Be forceful and strong in your direction; but gentle in your action."

Tuesday, October 11, 2011

The tread beneath my feet...

For so many their life of faith consists of some religious choice or experience they had a year ago, or many years ago.  For me it is the tread beneath my feet.  It is those daily moments when I remember who I am before God and "surrender to him, " so to speak.

For me this often happens during a brief pause during my day, a walk, a glance out the window at the sunshine, a deep breath amidst some battle with one of my has happened on the rocky paths to the top of a fourteener, on the shores of some lost lake, late night road trips and under a shower of thickly falling snow. Lonely parking lots, sidewalk lined ponds, and most often the streets marking my neighborhood is where the battle ground of my desires and dreams have met the sovereign God.
I read this recently:
"Repent, then, and turn to God, so that your sins may be wiped out, that times of refreshing may come from the Lord." Acts 3:19

How great is it that our sins have been wiped out!  I know this began my christian life, but I've been thinking about how it is also a continuous step in following God daily.  I will never reach a point of 'maturity' where repentance is not needed.  I will always need Jesus- in fact, I should always NEED Jesus.  How desperate am I for him daily?  Am I experiencing his refreshment?  Cause he promises it to me... if I am walking in repentance.  Sometimes when I am tired, burned out, and in need of his spirit, I must ask myself how much I am walking in my own strength rather than repenting and turning to God's strength and grace.
And sometimes I need to "hit the pavement" again... and bring all that has crept slowly into my arms, and give it back again. 

Thursday, October 6, 2011


I had one of those moments the other day, you know...the kind you won't soon forget.

Chris and I were climbing my first multi-pitch route.  Half way up the first pitch I was ticked off.  My forearms were pounding, my hands so tired I could barely pull the cams out of the rock.  But I got to the top, barely, and after a few moments of exhaling my frustration I began to look around.  To my right the sun, low on the horizon, reflected off the granite in an orange explosion.  To the left,  the moon hung in the sky, framed by a spectacular couloir and jagged peaks. In front of me, the next pitch and a little scrambling to get to the summit. And I began to think about how the struggle in getting to the top, was part of, if not most, of what made it so fun to get to the top.

Chris and I were talking about whether or not there will be challenges in heaven, hard work, and the pay off for it.  Whether everything will be given to us on a golden platter or whether God will leave some adventure.  Or better yet, maybe there is even more adventure there than there is here...

Our best calculations of heaven are a trifle in comparison to what it will actually be like.  It is silly of us to assume that the wild and infinite God who created the delicate snowflake, the iron strength of an ocean wave, the steep cliffs of granite and coral reefs, will sentence us to an eternity in an "endless church service."'What no eye has seen, what no ear has heard, and what no human mind has conceived'- the things God has prepared for those who love Him." 1 Corinthians 2:9

So I've been thinking a lot about heaven and living in light of it.  If he made this in 6 days:

imagine what heaven will be like if He has been working on it for thousands of years.
In the words of my husband, "There are going to be some pretty awesome walls for us to climb in Heaven. And I bet they are going to take hard work and training, cause that is half the fun of it."

Tuesday, October 4, 2011

Declare your power...

My pastor shared this verse last weekend and it really struck me in regards to my parenting:

"Do not forsake me, O God, till I declare your power to the next generation, your might to all who are to come." Psalm 71:18

This is my prayer right now, especially as I see my oldest child begin to grapple with questions deeper and more involved than, "Can I have this toy?"  She is wondering about what it means to die, where heaven is, why we get old, where the mountains came from, and why people do mean things.  It is easy as a parent to skim over these questions.  In my exhaustion I want to put her off till another day.  And honestly, I don't know how to answer all her questions.  But the bible does.

My prayer is that God allows me to declare Him to the next generation, the next line in our family, the ones that will take the torch on when our time has long since passed.  And that in the midst of the highs and lows, the busy times and slow, the holidays and visitors and sickness and silliness, that I would not forget to declare Him through it all.