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Sunday, June 13, 2010

Wanderers

Chris and I are wanderers. At least in our hearts. We, especially me, constantly fight the battle of restlessness. And while I am abundantly aware that this restlessness cannot be eternally settled outside of God or by anything in or on this earth, we have decided to start considering moving. Not just a simple mental exercise but really consider it. Visit different places, look at houses, attend church...

While a great part of me desires greatly to go, to see things, to experience different places, I have found a significant fear factor that holds me back. Fear of the loneliness and leaving close friends behind, fear of peoples criticism, fear of moving somewhere where we know nobody. No other families, no babysitters, no small group. But do I want to live according to my fear my whole life? And what else is there to do but strike out in opposition to it?

Mostly, I fear that if I don't do something drastic I will slowly die in my heart. "Give light to my eyes. or I will sleep in death..." Psalm 13:3b

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